19/05/03
i am panicked. the doorbell has rung twice now. at 4 am. who could be at the door at 4 am? i tried calling gk, but there is no answer at his hotel and i can't get him on his mobile. i don't know how to relax. the house is weird, and i'm afraid if i try to peek out i will be seen. i don't really know what to do. i hate that i'm so fucking pathetic.
ok, i will just do whatever i can to try to stop thinking about it, like play around with more photos.
here's one thing:
7 am now. i *think* the doorbell is malfunctioning. maybe it's related to the batteries. i had a peek the last time i heard the bell and didn't see anyone, although maybe i waited too long. it goes off every once in a while, so the next time it happens, i'll check. to think my heart's been racing and i've been freaked out for hours for such a silly reason. not unusual for me, i guess. [note: it turned out that there was a problem with the doorbell.]