18/12/03
although this was not set up as a pro-ana or -mia site, anyone in recovery or offended by ana or mia behaviours could probably find lots here that is 'unhealthy'. so i guess this is a warning. you should probably leave now if you don't want to encounter 'unhealthy' attitudes related to food and body issues. there's other stuff, too, but i'm not sure anything here is relevant to anyone but me.
i think i might be attracting a lot of pro-ana and -mia traffic under somewhat false pretenses, although by this i do not mean that i think ana or mia behaviours are 'wrong'. what i mean is.. this is mostly just a personal site that got way out of control, in a lot of ways. i've just been flailing desperately, not sure at all what to express or how i'm coming across. but when it comes to food and my body..
for most of my life i've been struggling with food and body issues. it's been a torture for me, and all of it has a lot to do with me wanting to die, and i think i'm long past the point of having anything insightful to share with others. i feel embarrassed about the particular diary entry (08/01/03) that has attracted people here and don't want it to be the only thing that speaks for me.. i think it's possible that there might be other things that those who have found their way here *might* relate to if they wandered around my site, or that they might want to look at some of the photos, and i'd actually recommend one of those options over reading the incredibly irritating and boring entry that has brought people here up until now. there are also other diary entries with body/food obsessiveness. not sure where to direct anyone, because i feel pretty self-conscious about all of it.
anyway, however you ended up here, and wherever your path leads, i wish you well.